Emergency apple review: Pazazz

As if the spelling of this apple's name weren't objectionable enough (though apparently it's a legitimate variant of pizzazz?), the apple itself is getting wrinkly and old already. I'm going to cut off a bit on the good side and give it a try, to see if it's even worth getting another one.

Its website describes it like so: "With every bite you’ll enjoy a burst of sweet yet tart flavor – plus Pazazz’s famous crunch. Whether you’re eating a Pazazz as a fresh snack or trying one of our special recipes, “Wow Right Now” is just a bite away."



Verdict: It's... not bad? There's a little tartness, which I appreciate, and it's not overly sweet. But it's hard to overlook that the apple didn't last even a week, and it's not offering anything particularly special.

Buy again?: Eh. It's okay, and I might try another one sometime to see if I appreciate it more when it's fresh, but I don't think I'll be seeking it out as a favorite.

Bonus apple review: Pacific Rose

I've been wanting to try the Pacific Rose for days now, but I kept having to eat other apples that were looking peaked. (Or, fine, I also kept eating whipped creme eggs.) I only had about a quarter of the Pazazz apple this morning, so I'm still hungry. Finally, it is Pacific Rose's turn.

It's a really pretty apple, definitely rosy. Its website says "Refreshing, sweet and crisp—Pacific Rose™ is more than just good looks." Apparently this was the apple involved in what a commenter on Adam's Apples calls "the underpants saga." He says: "A visiting Chinese delegation were stopped at by customs as the airport as they left NZ. The ones without diplomatic protection were searched and quite literally had their undergarments stuffed with Pacific Rose budwood." How can you not like this apple?



Verdict: I can't figure out why anyone would stuff these in their pants. I also can't figure out why Adam gave it two stars, which is his "excellent, worth making particular effort to seek out" rating. My apple was sweet, a little bland, a bit mealy, and lacking any tartness. Which doesn't completely contradict Adam's review: "The fruit's flesh ... is crisp, coarse, and juicy. That juice is sweet with no balancing tartness, and the skin is a bit chewy in the finish." So what's so great about it?? He apparently likes some undifferentiated tropical notes he detected; I obediently tried to find them, and... maybe they're there? Sort of? But that doesn't change how I feel about it. Adam sums his review up with "these elusive flavors, and most of all P. Rose's wonderful crisp juicy texture, make this worth seeking out." The texture of mine was not wonderful. Maybe it's too old; this is not, I suspect, a good time of year to be doing a project like this. But I've had other apples that I liked, even recently, and I didn't like this one.

Buy again? A sad no.

(I promise not to continue spamming you with multiple apple reviews per day. My backlog is down to two apples and whatever I find at the grocery store tonight.)