Apple review: Kanzi
Apr. 11th, 2018 02:57 pmFirst we have to talk about Kanzi's horrifying website.
I didn't want this. All I wanted was to eat an apple.
Go home, copywriters, you're drunk.
"We seduce life -- a crunchy, sweet-tart, juicy and flavorful kind of life."
Don't share your corporate beliefs on your apple website. Just don't.
The dumbest thing about all of this is that Kanzi is just a Gala x Braeburn cross, exactly like Jazz, which is a decent apple but about a thousand percent less pretentious.
This apple is too honking huge. It's got to be over half a pound. Nobody needs an apple this big.
Verdict: The main problem with Kanzi is that it's too sweet for me. It does have a decent amount of tanginess, but the flavors seem to be fighting against each other, not working together in a complementary way. They're too plain and harsh. Nobody's likely to discern oblique hints of strawberry and pineapple and the summer you were thirteen in this thing. It's just SWEET! and also ACIDIC!
The flesh is a little softer than I like, but juicy. It does have a reasonable amount of apple flavor, something some varieties seem to neglect. Its size worked against it: it got tediously sweet as I continued, and yet somehow the finish was too tart.
Buy again? Nope, it's boring and too big and there are other apples I like better, including its sibling Jazz (but even that isn't in my top few).
I didn't want this. All I wanted was to eat an apple.
Go home, copywriters, you're drunk.
"We seduce life -- a crunchy, sweet-tart, juicy and flavorful kind of life."
Don't share your corporate beliefs on your apple website. Just don't.
The dumbest thing about all of this is that Kanzi is just a Gala x Braeburn cross, exactly like Jazz, which is a decent apple but about a thousand percent less pretentious.
This apple is too honking huge. It's got to be over half a pound. Nobody needs an apple this big.
Verdict: The main problem with Kanzi is that it's too sweet for me. It does have a decent amount of tanginess, but the flavors seem to be fighting against each other, not working together in a complementary way. They're too plain and harsh. Nobody's likely to discern oblique hints of strawberry and pineapple and the summer you were thirteen in this thing. It's just SWEET! and also ACIDIC!
The flesh is a little softer than I like, but juicy. It does have a reasonable amount of apple flavor, something some varieties seem to neglect. Its size worked against it: it got tediously sweet as I continued, and yet somehow the finish was too tart.
Buy again? Nope, it's boring and too big and there are other apples I like better, including its sibling Jazz (but even that isn't in my top few).
